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NEWS from The Church of El Duce !!!

President Bush meets with Pope Scum and US Miltary Generals to chart new Strategic Course in Iraq



Bowing to intense pressure from Senior Leaders of the Republican Party, as well as Karl Rowe, President Bush convened a week long strategy session at Camp Duce in Maryland in order to determine a new vision for the War in Iraq

Bush, who was urged by Donald Rumsfeld (a Mentors Player Hater) to not hold the session, wisely chose Pope Scum to lead the Discussions

In this exclusive feature to the Duce News Network (DNN), Pope Scum publishs this transcript of the highlights of the discussion, thus beating Woodward to the punch.

Bush : Guys, we are up shit creek without a paddle. Rumsfeld fucked this up so bad! What the fuck are we going to do? We have elections coming up and I'm gonna lose the House and the Senate if we dont figure something out quick

Who's got any ideas on how we can turn this thing around, and quick?

Pope Scum : Mr, President, we with the COED have some really good ideas. These ideas, if immediately implemented, would turn this around immediately

General Wilson : GW, I dont know myself . We tried shooting these guys, that didnt work. We tried bombing them, that didnt work We tried to turn it over to the Iraq Army, that just made it worse. I say pull out like Vietnam and declare victory on our way out. Iran may fill the void, but they already have the frigging atomic bomb and Israel is there to contain them also, so it might not be so bad.

Scum : Fuck, not that I expected any different from you professional Army guys, but that is not going to cut it. If we dont have control of the Gulf, we are going to have to give up our SUVs and ride bikes like Europeans. That is just not going to work for the USA. We cant have the price of gas be higher than 2 bux a gallon. I personally like to ride my bike and listen to Mentors tunes on the headphones, but most Mentors Fans do not share that hobby.

General Westmorland : Well Scum, thats really easy to say. We are professional military men and that is what our consensus is. Cut and Run. You are not over there.. We are. I can assure you, Iraq does not like Mentors or El Duce, thats for sure! I might just have to come over this desk right now and kick your lazy communist ass!

Bush : hold it right there! Lets lower the rhetoric! We are hear to figure out how to kill Iraq people, not each other! Lets hear what Pope Scum has to say. Scum, quit beating around the Bush (no pun intended).What is your plan?

Scum : We propose a bifurataed solution. The first thing is to stop the violence right away. Basically there is only one way to do that. Spike the water supply. We have to put Xtasy in the water supply. That eliminates all violent impulses. Of course, our own trooops cant be drinking it. Then we declare that Iraq is now part of Israel and let Israeli security forces take over. Its that simple Then we immediately hang Sadaam on TV. Game over.

Bush: Scum, I knew I could count on you for sage advice. That is really out of the box thinking. Good Job. I will order Rumsfeld and the Israeli's to go this route immediately. By the way, did you bring that rare Duce mp3 with you on your USB stick?

 





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