Pope Scum : I want to thank the candidates for their participication in this debate. This debate will go down in histroy as historic as the legendary Lincoln and whats his name debates.
Dr. Scum : Gentlemen let me start this debate with the following question. I would appreciate it if both candidates could answer the following question :
q) obviously, gentlemen, the number one issue for the nation is the question of terrorism. What will you do to stop another devasting terrorist attack on our homeland?
President Bush : First of all I am going to pray a lot. If you pray the Lord Jesus will answer your prayers and so we wont be attacked cause I will pray a lot.
John Kerry : Bush, that answer shows you for the right wing redneck wacko you truly are. What an idiotic answer! What I am going to do is to try to get Jane Fonda to negotiate with Bin Laden to get him to "chill out:". Also my homie Louis Farrakhan and also the Jessie Jackson I am sure can end this whole thing right here.
Dr. Scum : Damn, with candidates like this may our Lord El Duce help us. First of all Bush, you moron, Jesus is not Lord. El Duce is. Kerry, that is the weakest crock of crap I have ever heard. That is no way going to work. Try again, nitwik. You might have Agent Orange damage from Vietnam or something.
Dr. Scum : Lets try another question. Bush, you are known as try to ban all porno and also eliminate Howard Stern. Where do you stand on Mentors? Didnt you ever listen to Mentors when you were all coked and liquored up?
Pres. Bush : Yes, actually I am a huge Duce fan. I will ban
all that stuff except for Mentors. In fact, this is the only
issue that me and Kerry dont disagree on. Kerry loves Mentors
and so do I.